Welcome back to summer 2009, location Ljubljana, Slovenia, Europe. Late night bicycle ride, after the rain have clear my mind a little. I am still thinking about new flu, a new politically correct name for swine flu. Even diseases have their right.
It came here, to Ljubljana, a new flu, we start to scare for our health. Before that, we scare for our job. Recession is here for a while also. And between that, we was scare from possible nuclear war that can happened in south Korea, or we was scare about our plain will crash in the see during our vacations. The world is fucked up, or that is just a picture we have received every day.
I open a beer, and sit across my wife. We was two person, drinking beer, both with our opened Dell laptops on the knee, sitting in our living room. She was checking her Facebook profile, maybe reading rss or surf the internet. I was listening radio stream of my favorite dj show. We communicate over gTalk, and some, only some time we have real, offline talk.
Real life, web life, world news, local news it`s all mixed up together, creating scary picture of the world we are living in.
I start to write my blog again, but I never finished what i start. It is a never ending story. Writing and deleting post, always changing the beginning and the end.
I feel a lost of creativity in my life lately. So many useless information, every day, it just make me anxious and depressed. I don`t feel creative, and i don`t act creative. I just became some passive-aggressive kind of man, worrying about the fucking future we are living. There is no space ships or intelligent computer in our present, this is not SF future that we was hoping to. This is fucking neo liberal future, late age of the post modern capitalism, or something. I don`t know theory, but i know it is bad. Not just me, everything around me. Locally, globally, world wide. World Wild West, World Wild Web, WWW.
WTF. So many shortening, shortcut for everything. Scan don`t read. Digesting everything. Ctrl+Alt+Shift. Poor new language, and poor new capitalism.
Yeah yeah yeah, I must start to think positive, to have a positive attitude about whole fucking world. I know that, but I don`t. I just don`t. Fuck you with your blindness, with your fucking silly world of positive thinking. There is no space to be positive in this point of time, in our time. Or it is. Yes, I know, we have our lovers, our parents, our friends, we have people we love, and they have us, and they love us, and that is ok, that is light of our life, but, what is wrong? Is this the future we was dreaming of? I don`t think so. This is not mature society.
Is this a modern slavery? Someone say so, i don`t know what it is. Nobody does. Just all that confusion everywhere. We do not know nothing, and we do not go nowhere. Don`t you ever think about it? Or you just sitting there, watching TV, drinking, eating, sleeping, having sex, having kids, making birthday parties, driving to job and back, going to vacation, living, dying.
I lost a point here, skype call interrupt me. Late night client have some issue. Fucking skype, why do I have to be signed in to every fucking instant messenger. Freelance to hell. Everything is so interrupting. Commercial, news, rss, our jobs, twitter, messengers, IP calls, clients, sometimes even our friends or family.
My mental power is reduced from all that noise. Multitasking will create idiots of us. Google too. And what about Blogs? To hell with them, It is our major time killer, our course and bless, our hope and our book substitute.
But stop for a while. Blog is dead already? What about twitter? Is it a new digesting way of reading. Who needs a long blog post. We need it now and we need it fast. Even 170 characters are too much.
My good, our brain will stop to think one day. We will save all our knowledge on some HDD. No more memories. No need to thinking and concentrating. We will became a button pushers. Or not. Or we all will became a selfish, brain washed, buying machines. Working to shopping to working kind of. I don`t like it, our past, our present not even our future, as it looks right now.
I hope I am just being wrong about everything. Wrong about being an idealist.
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